Elisabeth Hasselbeck is Tim Hasselbeck's wife

Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the dimwitted co-host of The View, is Tim Hasselbeck’s hot football wife.

Tim Hasselbeck was, by all measurable standards, a truly awful quarterback. In a 2003 game vs. the Cowboys, he completed 6 of 26 passes for 57 yards and four interceptions. That was good for a quarterback rating of 0.0.

Only 20 quarterbacks have ever had a 0.0 passer rating in a game. For a cross-sport comparison, there have been 255 no-hitters, so Hasselbeck is in truly elite company.

Despite his routinely poor performance and 4th string quarterback skills, Tim somehow managed to stick around in the league for more than 2 years. He was on the Cardinals roster in 2007, but hasn’t touched the ball in a game since 2003. That’s 4 years of employment without a single meaningful contribution. Congratulations, Tim. You’re an inspiration to pot heads everywhere.

As for Elisabeth Hasselbeck, she was on Survivor in 2001 and finished fourth. Like her husband, she routinely makes an ass of herself on national television. She doesn’t think it matters if the earth is round or flat. She doesn’t believe in evolution. She is a strong opponent of abortion, believing that life begins with penetration (apparently she opted out of family life). She also loves George Bush, Middle Eastern wars, and has a strong disdain for gay people. 

As her sole credit, Elisabeth is largely responsible for removing Rosie O’Donnell from television. For that I thank her.

Keep comments clean and free of spam. All comments are subject to moderation and may be edited.