by Kevin on July 20, 2009
Stephenie Lagrossa is Kyle Kendrick’s fiancee.
Stephenie is an ex-Survivor contestant (Guatemala). She was one of the most popular Survivor contestants ever, and though she didn’t end up winning, she has the good fortune to now be an official WAG alongside Heidi Hamels and Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
The engagement aside, things aren’t going as well for Kendrick these days. He’s currently toiling away in AAA ball for the Lehigh Valley IronPigs — maybe not the worst gig in the world (certainly better than mine), but a farcry from his old job starting for the Phillies.
by Kevin on August 15, 2008
Heidi Strobel is
Cole Hamels’ wife.
Heidi was a contestant on Survivor: The Amazon, one of the last Survivor seasons that aired before people completely stopped caring. She was a teacher before she was shipped off to South America to…you know…survive.
Whereas a normal person left to survive in the Amazon would be forced into killing snakes with his bare hands, fighting off multiple cases of explosive diarrhea and just being a general badass, Heidi survived by taking off her clothes for peanut butter and Oreos — a challenge that thankfully wasn’t open to the male contestants.
In August of 2003, Heidi Strobel got naked for Playboy, along with fellow castaway and clothes-taker-offer Jenna Morasca.
Heidi is the second Survivor contestant to appear on WAG Rankings. The other is Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
Heidi Strobel’s husband, Cole Hamels, is a starting pitcher for the Philadelphia Phillies. They were married on New Year’s Eve in 2006.
by Kevin on March 30, 2008
Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the dimwitted co-host of The View, is Tim Hasselbeck’s wife.
Tim Hasselbeck was, by all measurable standards, a truly awful quarterback. In a 2003 game vs. the Cowboys, he completed 6 of 26 passes for 57 yards and four interceptions. That was good for a quarterback rating of 0.0.
Only 20 quarterbacks have ever had a 0.0 passer rating in a game. For a cross-sport comparison, there have been 255 no-hitters, so Hasselbeck is in truly elite company.
Despite his routinely poor performance and 4th string quarterback skills, Tim somehow managed to stick around in the league for more than 2 years. He was on the Cardinals roster in 2007, but hasn’t touched the ball in a game since 2003. That’s 4 years of employment without a single meaningful contribution. Congratulations, Tim. You’re an inspiration to pot heads everywhere.
As for Elisabeth Hasselbeck, she was on Survivor in 2001 and finished fourth. Like her husband, she routinely makes an ass of herself on national television. She doesn’t think it matters if the earth is round or flat. She doesn’t believe in evolution. She is a strong opponent of abortion, believing that life begins with penetration (apparently she opted out of family life). She also loves George Bush, Middle Eastern wars, and has a strong disdain for gay people.
As her sole credit, Elisabeth is largely responsible for removing Rosie O’Donnell from television. For that I thank her.
(8.50 out of 10)